Coffee Date No. 7

Today’s Gossip post is going to be a bit different, I’m going to talk about what happens after you have a baby. I’m sure by now you all know I had a baby. I’m obsessed with her, I love her so much.

But with that, pregnancy and your body postpartum is a little bit different. There were things that happened I wasn’t aware of, things that went back to the way they were before and things I don’t think will ever go back to where they were before and that’s what I want to talk about today!

First and foremost your belly gets bigger, I mean duh we all new that already but the way your belly gets really depends on your body shape and type. But an easy way to determine the way you will look while pregnant is to ask your mom how she looked while pregnant.

Mine was very similar to my mama’s third pregnancy, in fact, the entire pregnancy was very similar except for how low my belly sat. Because my belly sat so low I got stretch marks around my lower belly. Up until I was about 38 weeks pregnant I didn’t really have any in that area at all. I did have them on my boobs and thighs almost around the time I started showing.

Stretch marks are extremely common during pregnancy and at first I didn’t pay any mind to getting them because my mama had gotten them but they were never bad and went away soon after she gave birth, so I was just basing myself off her experiences but everyones body is different.

When I had first given birth I was looking at my body in the mirror and it was so hard to adjust. I would see pictures and I never really acknowledged how tiny I was pre-baby, and when you first start to show you get this cute little belly and you’re so happy because your baby is in there. But, to look at myself in the mirror post-baby and see all this extra skin and marks that I didn’t have before, the before and after can be very very different.

It takes some adjusting and I struggled with it at first, I felt so insecure and hated them because, for the most part, I didn’t even have them until the very end. But then one day it hit me, hard. I was holding Emilia and she was sleeping on my chest and it hit me. Why? Why am I looking at this like its a flaw? It’s not a flaw, it literally shows how incredible my body is and what it’s accomplished.

I created her, I carried her inside of me for nine months. I birthed her and now I have a beautiful healthy baby girl, and for a short while, I was able to feed her from my body as well. And while I wish I was still breastfeeding, it’s just not an option for us and it breaks my heart I can’t but we’ve found other ways to way bond.

What I’ve learned from pregnancy to postpartum is that it is all just a big adjustment, not just of the body but the mind. It’s okay I have stretch marks, I wear them proudly because they are little badges of the amazing things my body has done. They are beautiful and great and memories of me holding my baby. God made the women body to do exactly what mine has done and its something so incredible I have trouble finding the words to describe it.

I may never get back down to a size two, I may never get rid of the stretch marks, my belly button may always look a little funny from here on out but that’s okay. I have the greatest award God could have given me.

I hope this little chat has/can/will help any one who is pregnant, a mother, or thinking about being one. You are strong and beautiful and never forget you baby doesn’t care how you look, they’ll never remember all mistakes you may have made, all they will know is how incredibly loved they are.

With love from the Tar Heel State,

Brittany