Coffee Date NO. 5

June 6, 2018

Hey, Y’all! This post is going to be so incredibly random and all over the place because let’s be honest. It’s totally how I feel.

If you saw my most recent Instagram post (shameless self-plug). The caption says, “I feel like I’ve been going 100 miles a min down a hill with no breaks since February.” Let’s talk about that, shall we?
Matthew is deployed, if you follow my blog or any of my social media you know this, if you’re new, Hi my name is Brittany and welcome to my blog! Matthew is my husband and he is in the U.S Navy. Super proud of him and I support him in all things but I miss him.
There have been so many big changes going on in my (our) life and I want nothing more than form him to be here and help me along the way. But with him being gone I am having to make a lot of big decisions without him. It’s stressful and hard and I can start to feel it weighing down on me.
And it’s not one or two things here and there. It’s everything from planning our wedding because we didn’t get to have one yet, to looking for a house, to paying all the bills in his name and mine, it’s switching out bank accounts and insurance and phone lines.
So when I say I feel like I’m going downhill with no breaks and only seem to be picking up speed it’s no joke. I feel like every day I’m just waiting for the crash to happen. You see all these other men and women brave it through deployment like it doesn’t bother them, they seem so strong and put together.
I waited and waited and waited to become that person. The strong one left behind. But I’ve realized something in the last four months or so. Those people are L-Y-I-N-G. It’s all a front. Every one of us feels the missing piece with our SO gone. 
All of us have things go wrong at the same time. All of us cry still and get really bad moments of missing them it literally feels like all the happiness gets sucked out of you (hello dementors.)
I’ve learned all of this along the way. But I’ve also learned there are other people to turn to and count on. There are others who are always willing to help. Help you move, help with dinner, watch your kids, or just be your shoulder to cry on. And that’s kinda beautiful.
With all this being said, deployment sucks, it’s always gonna suck but you will always have someone in your corner to help me through it. And I found that we only have nine weeks left. NINE WEEKS PEOPLE!!!
I was so excited I thought I was gonna cry. My honey is {almost} home. 
The next part of this post is about music. Kinda random but I’ve been getting some DMs about the music I’ve been featuring in my Snapchat and Instagram stories. I use apple music so if you have an iPhone I’m going to leave the link to my account. All my playlist are public. If you don’t have an iPhone leave a comment or shoot me a DM on Instagram and I’ll add the Spotify link for yall!

June Playlist

-xo
Brittany Malone

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