Coffee Date NO. 1
October 19, 2017
Hello friends, this post is going to be a bit heavy so grab a drink and settle in. Firstly, this picture has nothing to do with this post it just makes me happy. Moving along, I know I’m a little late to getting around with this but thats ok. October 10 was world mental health day and while it’s now about a week later I still want to say something about it because your mental health is so so very important. What brought this one was a combination of a few things. This past Sunday my sister asked me if there was something in me that I deeply regretted and I scattered my brain and at the last moment I mentioned a past relationship.
Heres why I changed my mind, I don’t regret the relationship because even though it caused me to enter a place in my life were I struggled and bad things kept seeming to happen, I rose up. I honestly thought I had hit rock bottom just to keep falling and falling again and again. I spent more time than I like to admit crying for no reason, wanting to sleep all the time (I was always tired) my grades slipped, I fought with family, I avoided my friends, and I just couldn’t get rid of the never ending feeling that something bad was going to happen.
I finally had enough and went to talk to a professional. I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression and General Anxiety. I first hated the idea of seeing a theprist but this was something I couldn’t work through on my own. The clinic I went to is special they help you not only from a medical standpoint but a spiritual one as well. It was during this time I rediscovered my need for God in my life.
I was on the road to finding myself, now when you hit a certain age you seem to think you know who you are, I know I thought I did. I took to reading my bible more trying to find healing and who I was in God. Now the Bible says that we are many things because we have the Lord. I know, this sounds heavy right? But I found peace in knowing this because while I am flawed in more ways than one, through Christ I am (not) perfect, but better. If you needed to hear it like I did the Bible says that you are:
- Free (John 8:36)
- Strong (Philippians 4:13)
- Heading towards good things (Philippians 1:6)
- Holy ( 1 Corinthians 6:19)
- Not timid or fearful but powerful, loving, and self-disciplined (2 Timothy 1:7)
- Confident against oppression (Romans 8:31)
Now another thing that got me on the subject was a tweet a saw. (I’ll put a screenshot). And it got me thinking about my hard times and how I’ve grown and changed and yet I still have so much more growing to do as a person. I’ve learned the people you surround yourself with can impact your life a lot more than you think it can.
While my friends from school are fabulous and wonderful souls and I love them to pieces they couldn’t help shake the bad feelings away. Around May of this year my very best friend (and now boyfriend) had come home and took it upon himself to make me better. We spent a week at the beach and he really flipped my world right side up. I had almost forgotten what it was like to be loved so fiercely by someone who I wasn’t related too. He pushed so many things into the light for me and it really really helped me heal more than anything. I am forever grateful for him.
While I’m no longer dealing with my depression my anxiety is still there, I still stress myself out over things that shouldn’t matter and let it get to me. Its a constant battle everyday but I’m happy, grateful and so very blessed. I have family and friends who love me, a man who goes out of his way for me, and a God that is willing to listen to even the smallest of things.
Lastly just a bit of advice: if you’re struggling talk to someone; you’re not alone and asking for help isn’t a weakness.
-With love, Brittany Michelle