6 things I said about parenting while pregnant

July 26, 2019

It’s Friday and I’m feeling good, so lets fun of myself.

I’ve spent the last two months laughing at myself and all the things I assumed I would do/ not do when I was pregnant. Me and Brandon we’re living in some delusional fantasy. I mean, everyone knows that parenting is oh so easy when you don’t have a kid that is!

But don’t think that because these things didn’t work for me that they won’t work for y’all. Chances are that they will, babies are so different so there’s no telling what your baby may act like. But today we’re focusing on my and all the sill and naive thoughts I had while pregnant. Get ready to giggle.

1). I’ll work when Emilia naps

Emilia will take 2-3 naps a day, so I’ll work during those 2-hour naps. Yeah right! So many babies nap irregularly and I never knew or accounted for that. Some days she takes a 22-minute nap in her crib. Other days she naps for an hour. If I can have her nap on me, she’ll sleep for 2 hours. But I can’t really work when she is on me. By the time I get her down, shower, chug my coffee she is up again. I don’t think I’ve gotten anything substantial accomplished in any nap she has taken. I get work done before she wakes up in the morning or after she goes to bed if I’m lucky. I was so against doing that, but you have to do what you have to do!

2). Emilia is going to nap great #BabyWise

I read allllll the baby sleep books. A week or two before I gave birth I was getting my toes and highlighting the mess out of Baby Wise. I had post-it notes marking pages. I took notes on each chapter. I laugh at ever envisioning the free time to do something like that ever again. Emilia was born. Hated Baby Wise. Didn’t follow the schedule. I tweaked the schedule. Still didn’t follow it. Yada. Yada. You know how the story goes.

Now, this isn’t to say Baby Wise doesn’t work. In fact, I believe most mamas do Baby Wise and it works for them. It just didn’t work for us. My child is not the best sleeper and it doesn’t matter what book/what schedule. She does what she wants. [Side note, before baby I also thought that was a myth. Babies don’t do whatever. LOL.]

3). I can’t wait to give birth so I can finally sleep again!

When you’re pregnant, pregnancy insomnia is SO real. I was also unbelievably uncomfortable with my rib and vomiting all night. Pregnant mamas, I promise you’ll feel SO much better [healing was a different type of pain for me] once you give birth. But I had this thought that I’d feel so much better and be able to rest more. I didn’t account for the fact they eat every two hours while breastfeeding. So if you start feeding at 1 a.m., they eat until 1:30, you get them down at 1:45, you fall asleep at 2, you wake up at 3 to start again. I should have done the math. Instead, I sat blissfully ignorant at 36-weeks pregnant, sipping my sweet tea thinking, “I can’t wait to sleep.”

4). I’ll always be prepared and never feel like a mess.

Being a somewhat control freak, I normally associate myself feeling like a mess when I didn’t prepare. I just thought I’d always schedule enough time before an activity with Emilia I wouldn’t ever be late. News flash: I’m not in control! I do get up early to prepare, but sometimes Emilia wants to get up and play at 5:30. Our schedule changes. She has a blowout. We run late. She is fussy. We skip out on something. It’s something I knew would happen while pregnant, I just thought I could overcompensate. Now I embrace this beautiful and messy season of life and laugh at my prior thoughts.

5). I’ll still have “Me Time”

Now, I still do have me time. If you have more than one child [you are a superhero] and you may not, but y’all know I just have one baby and have my mom right now so I definitely have “me time.” I can go to Target while Brandon watches her. I can get my hair done if my mom can watch her, etc. However, before baby, I had regularly scheduled “me time.” I got manicures every 3 weeks and waxed my eyebrows once a month. I still do get manicures, but it’s just different. I don’t go religiously and I honestly hate being away from her for so long just to get a manicure/pedicure. I also got my brows waxed for the first time in almost 3 months this week but we don’t need to dwell on the negative people. Don’t need to dwell on the negative. I already apologized to the girl profusely and she swore it wasn’t bad, but how sweet of her to lie to me.  “Me time” has definitely evolved as a concept to me. I enjoy grocery shopping while Mrs. Jenny [Brandon’s mama] watches her so I don’t have to worry about her crying or freaking out on the aisle. I will run an errand for Brandon so I can call a girlfriend for 10 minutes. That really makes me feel recharged as opposed to old ways. This isn’t to say I’ve changed. I still realllly like manicures. I would say I’ve just learned to seek joy and quiet time in smaller tasks/chores and it makes me appreciate little things in life far more.

6). Brandon doesn’t need to help at night, he needs to sleep for work

It was Christmas Eve as I sat at the table drinking sparkling apple juice with a baby bump touching the table I said, “Oh I definitely don’t expect Brandon to get up in the night with her! I mean I have to feed her and he has work the next day. He needs to be rested.” A family friend goes, “But, Brittany. He can help. He is the dad.” I told her of course he would help, but not at night. I was so worried on him missing out on rest. And yes, for the first month-ish I followed that. But once we had to supplement it was a lot easier to, “Okay, peaches. Your turn! Mama sleeps tonight.” And he was extremely willing/helpful. And guess what? I feel no guilt. I feel immense appreciation and gratitude, but guilt? No way. Emilia loves her time with her Daddy and I know how special those late-night cuddle sessions are. Yes, he has to be at work in the morning but this time with her is so precious.

Oh gosh you guys! I hope this was funny to you! I think the beautiful thing about motherhood is that it does strip a huge layer of control that you have. This little person that you’re learning about is your new boss and they each have different personalities. If we are blessed with more children, I’m sure they’ll be completely different from Emilia and I’ll once again feel like I’m clueless. But this new level of humility is something I appreciate. I’m less hard on myself and far more go with the flow.

God knew I needed a little girl that didn’t follow all the rules like I do so I would learn to be more relaxed, and truly, I’ve never enjoyed life more. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but boy am I so, so proud of my daughter.

So to all the pregnant mamas, you got this! Read your books or don’t read your books. Do what you feel is best and get ready to continually laugh at yourself. You may be surprised to not do everything how you thought you would, but the best surprise is the fierce love you will have for your child. Emilia may bring me a continual learning curve, but she also brings a joy I never knew existed.

Any mamas want to share things they said they wouldn’t do as a parent?!

Love from the Tar Heel State,

Brittany

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Hey, Y'all I’m Brittany; curator and author of Hello Darling Dearest. Here you’ll find travel, fashion, home & the occasional adventure. This is my journey, growing and figuring out life. Make yourself comfy and let’s be friends!

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